Celebrating Owning Ourselves: A Reflection with Photos
by Sheila Finkelstein
Reflection: (photo essay is below)
I felt most honored recently when Jan Lundy invited me to submit an article for “Celebrating the Feminine.” My first thought, “No. Not me. I'm far from feminine.” My internal reaction was pretty strong to this, including the inclination to refer her to other writers.
You see, to me when I think about it, “feminine” represents frilly clothes, lipstick and makeup, manicured nails, pedicures, regular beauty salon visits, special lingerie, undergarments and much more. Even the dictionary affirmed this, when I double-checked. They added “feminine” hobbies to the list - “sewing and cooking” as examples. OK. So I knew that's certainly not Jan's focus.
I, thus, stretched my thinking a little more to reflect on nurturing and mothering. Despite the fact that I do “nurture” others, often, on many, levels, I still go back to my reflective statement of many years ago. I wasn't the “milk and cookies Mom.” My husband would often pack the cereals, canned good and the “goodies” whenever they drove back to college. I finally reassured myself, during those times, that our two sons turned out great. I must have done something right.
As my thoughts continued, pondering Jan’s invitation, I started thinking of my body, equating it to the “feminine.” Of course, I do have all the “female” parts. Does that make me feminine?
Jan had also suggested, in her note to me, that I might have one or more photos for making a photo essay. Not a surprising request, since she knows me mainly from my photography and my commitment to inspiring “Seeing with New Eyes.”
I then began to reflect on the recent self-portraits I'd been taking recently for two different courses I was in. Turning color photos into black and white was the context for one of the two. Where some of the participants found the portraits challenging, I was pleased with the freedom I felt around it. I had started doing videos last year of me speaking my business or on things I loved. It was quite awkward for a long time. Then I got my iPhone. I started having fun with the camera, particularly loving the feature where you simply push an icon and the lens faces you. It's especially fun when I am talking on my hands-free, speaker phone handset.
Over time, I've noticed I've been less concerned with the “perfect” look. Ironically, as I've become relaxed about it, I've started looking better and enjoying and appreciating myself more.
What if, being “feminine” were simply being ourselves, fully allowing ourselves to be however we are and however we're not, accepting and loving ourselves completely? Then by writing this article, sharing my whole thought and artistic process here, I AM Celebrating the Feminine me. I invite you to do the same for you! Thank you, Jan, for seeding this breakthrough for me.
Photo "Essay"
View Sheila's photo montage, featuring self-portraits that invite self-exploration and embracing of the Feminine.
Sheila, www.sheilafinkelstein.com, is a photographer, an author, and a relationship coach who works with individuals and groups, teaching them how to use photography as a tool for creating new ways of seeing their world.
As caregiver to her husband, Sam, of 47 years, who was afflicted with Parkinson's Disease for over 12 of those years, Sheila found the camera to be a tremendous aid in restoring her own emotional balance. No matter what, each day ended with "I love you."
Sheila now passionately helps her clients find - and experience - wonder and magic in their relationships. The individuals with whom she works, together with their partners, build a treasure chest of actions and memories, so they know they are loving fully (before it's too late). They deepen their communication in areas in which they’ve been avoiding. They experience the loving touching that had been missing. Acts of love occur spontaneously, including giving and receiving unexpected gifts. Acknowledgment abounds. See www.LoveWithNoRegrets.com for more information.
I am learning to celebrate the feminine by slowing down, breathing more deeply and Savoring all life has to offer me, one precious moment at a time. I am on a new “orgazmic diet” in my life. I seek foods which give me great pleasure when I eat them, sending chills and shudders of ecstasy throughout my entire body! A friend and I had dinner the other night. We told the waiter we could barely speak to each other, we were so busy having one “food orgazm” after another after another!! Now that is what life is all about!
My feminine loves Savoring Nature, feeling bare ground beneath my naked feet. Sensuously sensing the pressure of the grass, tiny stones, roots of trees pushing against me as we connect deeply, skin to skin, making love. The breeze embraces me, tracing my body with hers, twirling my curly hair around her fingers. I imagine she is as aroused by my body and hair, as I am by the air she is, and as I breathe in deeply, we become one with each other, pushing and pulling, exciting the strands of music we are as life plays us together. Ecstasy fills me when I stand naked in a thunderstorm, water rivering my naked body, lightening crackling and dancing as my hairs stand up straight on my skin! I inhale the smoke in the air and shake with delight so fully pierced by its magic, love overflowing every pore of my being!
My orgazmic diet includes sensuous delicious massages, long baths in fragrant waters, warm coconut oil rubbed on my skin. Sitting in the sunshine, nibbling on some fresh greens picked from my own little garden on my deck brings me great pleasure. Taking photographs of nature brings me even closer to the beauty all around me, providing me different perspectives and ways of finding beauty regardless of what I see. Writing my juiciness onto the page, takes me deeper into knowing and loving myself and everything around me.
I celebrate the feminine by embracing everyone and everything, welcoming what comes and resisting nothing. Loving for the joy loving brings, free of expectations of any kind. Open, vulnerable, receptive, giving as nature is to me every day of my life. Every flower and tree, every bird, rivers and mountains, the sun, moon and stars being themselves without question, whether they are noticed or not. The more I seek Pleasure the more it seeks me and I go where I am guided to be. Being Me, authentic and free.
Morgine Jurdan is an Animal & Nature Communicator, Writer, Photographer, Artist, inspiring Coach, learning to Live As Love more deeply every day. "The Divine, for me, is experiencing Itself as All That Is, so every moment of my life now, I am engaging with it. Every face, every particle of creation is in love with me at some level, and me with it. We are in an orgazmic dance, as I remember who I truly am." You can learn more about her here: http://www.MorgineJurdan.com
Femininity & Mothering There are moments in life when I feel complete and at peace…like I am doing exactly what I was meant to do at that very moment in time. I had one of these moments yesterday. It occurred while I was rocking my sick daughter to sleep. Cradling her in my arms, softly stroking her curly brown hair, feeling the heat of the fever emanating from her forehead, I just breathed. I kissed her head. I held her tight. I hummed her favorite lullaby. At this moment in time, I was the very best version of my sacred self. I was love. I was kindness. I was gentleness. I was tenderness. I was embracing and emanating my femininity through motherhood.
I believe femininity and mothering go hand in hand. Intuition, gentleness, compassion, love, tenderness, generosity, and wisdom-- words I use to define femininity, I also use to define mothering.
As I rocked my 4 year old daughter, I wasn’t saying a word-- but I was saying so much. Through the silence, I knew she heard:
~I love you beyond words.
~I’ll always protect and take care of you.
~You can trust me.
~You’re my greatest miracle.
~You deserve love.
~You’re safe. Everything will be okay.
In this moment, I was a center of love and kindness. My natural essence as a woman and a mother was being honored as I radiated love directly to my child.
Because We are Women, We Are Mothers I don’t believe that you have to birth a biological child be a “mother.” As I mentioned before, all the characteristics that define femininity, define mothering. Because we are women who are divinely feminine, we instinctively mother our friends, our parents, our pets, our partners, our biological children, our adopted or step children, our natural world, and most importantly-- ourselves.When you embody feminine characteristics that are your birthright like gentleness, compassion, love, tenderness, generosity, and wisdom towards the ones you love, you silently whisper to them: “I love you beyond words. I’ll always protect and take care of you. You can trust me. I believe you are nature’s greatest miracle. You deserve love. You’re safe. Everything will be okay.”
However, as women, we tend to project loving kindness to those we love while forgetting how important (ahem-- critical) it is for us to “allow [ourselves] to bathe in the warmth and acceptance of loving kindness as if [we] were a child held in a loving mother’s or father’s arms.”(Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go There You Are). We forget how important it is to mother ourselves so that we can better mother those in our lives that we love the most.
Mothering {Yourself} As a mother and a woman, it is imperative that I practice loving kindness toward myself. “When I can love myself, with all of my imperfections, I can love my child, friends, acquaintance, and all beings” (Jacqueline Kramer, Buddha Mom). Understanding this basic truth, I hold tremendous power. See, I am a mother of three impressionable young girls who are watching my every move. They are learning how to treat themselves as women by witnessing how I treat myself. Even more importantly, having felt the power of extending this loving kindness to myself, I am acutely aware that if I don’t do this for myself, I’d be less able to sit quietly, without my mind racing, to comfort my sick daughter. I am certain that the amount of love she felt radiate to her in that moment was in direct proportion to the amount of love I continually radiate to myself.
I know--easier said than done. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t attempt to try and make this type of meditation part of our daily habits. For it first to become a habit, we have to feel its power. We have to experience how it feels to say to ourselves and truly believe: “I love you beyond words. I’ll always protect and take care of you. You can trust me. I believe you are nature’s greatest miracle. You deserve love. You’re safe. Everything will be okay.” As women, one of the best ways to embrace our divine femininity is to continually direct kindness, love, compassion, gentleness, and generosity towards ourselves while we “mother” those we love.
Jennifer Niedzielski is a teacher, writer, mother of three young daughters, and the co-founder of Mindful Moms Network™. After teaching in the traditional classroom setting for over 12 years, she is transcending classroom walls to inspire and teach women how to reclaim their calm and take exquisite care of their mind, body, and inner-selves amidst the chaos of mothering. Through Mindful Moms, it is her intention to create a nurturing and supportive community for moms that encourages Inward Development through the Art of Mothering.
In the past year I have discovered meditation. I'm not very good at it, but I'm getting better and plan on mastering it. What if I had been taught to meditate as a child? How differently I imagine I would have handled myself in the world.
In just the short year or so I have been using it my love for myself and life has drastically changed. I use meditation at bedtime to help my daughter release the day and accept the night. She has not had one nightmare since we added this to our routine and I am so impressed with the smile and glow on her face once we're finished. I plan on encouraging her to do it more often throughout her days and life.
I think having her create her own meditation station will encourage her to be creative and excited about her time in meditation. I want to give her freedom to make her own space and give her the knowledge she needs to understand why it's an important routine.
I wrote this as I was brainstorming on how I could make this a fun experience that she would look forward to. And of course to remind her of how completely important her presence is no matter where she is or what she is doing. When my son is ready I hope he follows suit.
Meditation Station
A calming crystal for clarity. A hand picked rock to ground thee. A picture of a waterfall to help our time here flow with ease.
A feather to ask our heavenly friends for protection. Praying hands to ask for guidance and direction.
A cross to ask our Christ to clear our conscious. A purple flower to remind us of beauty and encourage thoughts of bliss.
Our meditation station we have lovingly made. Now is our time to feel our way into a peaceful state.
We sit as still as a lotus As we use our breath to help us focus.
Peace and happiness we choose to exude As we sit in deep gratitude.
Clear our minds by letting our thoughts rest As we allow our bodies to enjoy deep cleansing breaths.
This space we have created within us Is to help us find what frees us and help us release what freezes us.
When our time here is finished Thoughts of fear will have been diminished And our love for ourselves and the day will be enhanced and replenished.
Pushing past life's limitations Using mindful meditations Creates inner peace which serves our entire nation.
Quieting our minds and listening to our souls Will help us step into our role and achieve our goal Of helping to mold a society that works towards love as a whole.
Your little soul made of gold wants you to know How to sparkle, dazzle, grow and glow.
Be sure to find time to quiet your mind So we can listen and learn how to express and live our purest divine.
Our meditation station is one more tool we can use To bless this world with new more loving views. Choose to know you. Choose to exude the love within you. If you do, a better world you will leave behind you. And all those you pass will have one more reason to smile and say thank you.
Danielle, in her own words: I am a young woman seeking out ways to help and heal my life. I am releasing my fears and worries to enlighten and lift my being in order to better myself, my children and the world around me. I am learning to be responsible for my energy and my contribution. I live in tiny town in the middle of Illinois on 2 beautiful sandy lakes surrounded by family. I have 14 beautiful healthy nieces and nephews and 2 amazingly bright children that help me to live life on the silly side. Children are so pure and free to be. They inspire me to let loose and live optimistically. Danielle writes the column "Buddha Babies." You can find Danielle on Facebook too. http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Blossoming-Buddha-Baby/246912155353686
Music for Massage, Yoga, Working Out, Going Within, Living, Loving
by Dean Evenson
For many years now, I've enjoyed the ambient music of Dean and Dudley Evenson and Soundings of the Planet. This musically gifted duo (and a stellar gathering of musicians) has created more than 60 albums, all for the purpose of relaxation, healing, and bringing peace to the planet. "Peace through Music" is the byline of their record label.
At Buddha Chick Life, we are pleased to feature Dean's newest album, Relaxation Zone, sure to lift you out of tension and troubles into a stress-free zone. I'm personally enjoying this CD very much and just emailed Dudley to tell her I think it's one of Dean's finest. I nearly always do my daily writing with Soundings music playing in the background. This particular offering has become a ready favorite.
Gentle rolling rhythms, atmospheric grooves, soft percussion and a touch of didgeridoo invite you relax into the moment. Charting a new direction, Dean Evenson has put down his flute for this album to create these lovely keyboard compositions that are uplifting as well as comforting and supportive. The resulting ambience is perfect for healing arts practitioners and others who have been asking him for music with a little more rhythm but still with that signature ‘Evenson’ mood.
We all need to relax. Our modern lifestyles have caused a new kind of stress that our forebears didn’t know. While they may have had an adrenaline rush from being chased by a wild animal, our demons are often the ones we are chasing in our own minds. Stress comes in many forms. How we deal with it is up to us. The liner notes for Relaxation Zone include suggestions to help a person relax. Whether it is learning how to breathe, moving our bodies or taking time to rest in stillness, this music is an excellent tool to aid in the process of relaxation.
Dean shares: “As the moments of bliss increase in direct relationship to the amount of time I set aside for relaxation and meditation, a formula is developing in my life to allow, indeed to encourage, more time to seek the infinite source of creation within myself. As I open up to creation’s miracle of life, the time set aside for the restoration of my personal energy becomes the cathedral of keeping my connection with the infinite open, vibrant and joyful. The energy is coming from within to meld with universal energy, blending into a satiated state of calm activity. Taking action when necessary is most adroitly handled when one is coming from the place of stillness deep inside, with action in a wash of love of all that brings out the best in all moments. Find the time to relax and love this life we have been given and you will find your true self.”
Leave a comment here and you will be entered in the Giveaway Drawing for the new CD!
Learn more about "Relaxation Zone" and listen to sample from the album here:
Dean Evenson is one of the true visionaries of the Ambient/New Age musical genre–a prolific musician and composer, an entrepreneur, media pioneer and the co-founder of Billboard-charting independent music label, Soundings of the Planet. You can learn more about him, his music and record label, as well as listen to music samples at Soundings.com.
This painting and poem were both created by Mary MacGowan for her blog about women and life and being happy.
Mary says, "The woman in this painting embodies the feminine. She sings, she gives herself flowers, she writes about love and poetry, and in that way she opens up to ever-increasing feminine Love."
Mary MacGowan was born in Michigan, moved out east where she raised three children, now she's back in Michigan, singing and painting about love and lakes. She studied music and composition at Interlochen Arts Academy and NYU. She’s a widely published poet, with poems in over forty literary journals. She has a master's degree in Art Therapy and Creativity Development and sits by a lake every summer day to watch the ducks swim by. Her blog is: http://57andthensome.wordpress.com
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Are you a woman feeling like there is no you? You feel as if you are losing yourself or that you are an empty vessel just serving the needs of others? You feel like the world would suddenly cease to exist if you were not there to fix things and set them right? You feel if you didn't do these things for others nobody would love you, recognize you, or respect you? You feel like nobody really cares about your needs, they only care about their own?
These are telltale signs that you are burning out and you need to cut back on your activities. If no one else will consider your needs, you need to consider them yourself. You need to take charge of your life and do the things you want to do and not what others demand of you. This is what "self compassion" is all about. The practice of saying "yes" to yourself and at times saying "no" to others will actually enhance your essence of being the woman you are meant to be for yourself and others.
It does not mean you have to stop everything ... as helping others is a very important part of who you are as a woman. However, balance is a very important part of being healthy. In order to help others you have to first help yourself.
Many of us, from childhood on, are taught by our mothers that saying yes is right and saying no is wrong. We learn that acceding to demands allows us to avoid conflict and criticism, please people, earn praise, and prove that we care for the important people in our lives. Yet the right to say no is intertwined with the ability to make choices. When we sense we are limited in our options, compelled to say yes even when doing so is not in our interests, we are effectively robbed of our ability to choose. Growing out of this tendency to say yes even when we desperately want to say no can be challenging because we suspect that others will reject us for our assertiveness. But the reward we receive upon facing this challenge is true freedom of choice, love, joy and contentment.
When others, even friends and family, ask you to take on work or do favors, consider their requests carefully. If you feel pressed to say yes, consider whether you are saying yes out of a desire for approval or to ward off disapproval. Remind yourself often that the ability to say no is an important aspect of well-being, as it is an indication that you understand the true value of your energy, talents, and time. As you learn to articulate "your personal power" by saying no, you may feel compelled in the beginning to explore what you may feel the consequences are of the word by responding negatively to many or most of the requests put to you. The word “no” may even become your default response for some time. When you see that life moves forward without interruption, however, you will grow more comfortable saying no and will resume making decisions from a point of balance.
There is nothing inherently wrong with acceding to the requests others make of you, provided these requests do not infringe upon your health or your happiness. Keep in mind that it is only when you feel you have the legitimate right to say no that you can say yes with utmost certainty, sincerity, and enthusiasm. While saying yes to others under the circumstances where you embrace the opportunity, you can feel good about offering yourself when your reasons for doing so are rooted in your individual values, self compassion and your appreciation for the joy that is before you.
A Definition of Self-Compassion
By Kristin Neff, Ph.D., author of Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind
Having compassion for oneself is really no different than having compassion for others. Think about what the experience of compassion feels like. First, to have compassion for others you must notice that they are suffering. If you ignore that homeless person on the street, you can’t feel compassion for how difficult his or her experience is. Second, compassion involves feeling moved by others' suffering so that your heart responds to their pain (the word compassion literally means to “suffer with”). When this occurs, you feel warmth, caring, and the desire to help the suffering person in some way. Having compassion also means that you offer understanding and kindness to others when they fail or make mistakes, rather than judging them harshly. Finally, when you feel compassion for another (rather than mere pity), it means that you realize that suffering, failure, and imperfection is part of the shared human experience. “There but for fortune go I.”
Self-compassion involves acting the same way towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. Instead of just ignoring your pain with a “stiff upper lip” mentality, you stop to tell yourself “this is really difficult right now,” how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment? Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect? You may try to change in ways that allow you to be more healthy and happy, but this is done because you care about yourself, not because you are worthless or unacceptable as you are. Perhaps most importantly, having compassion for yourself means that you honor and accept your humanness. Things will not always go the way you want them to. You will encounter frustrations, losses will occur, you will make mistakes, bump up against your limitations, fall short of your ideals. This is the human condition, a reality shared by all of us. The more you open your heart to this reality instead of constantly fighting against it, the more you will be able to feel compassion for yourself and all your fellow humans in the experience of life.
Learn more about Dr. Neff's book, Self Compassion, at her website: self-compassion.org
Goddesses for Every Day: Exploring the Wisdom and Power of the Divine Feminine Around the World
by Julie Loar
Guest Author and Book Giveaway!
I've just begun to read this unique book which is full of fun and wonder at the outset. Author, Julie Loar, has created a work of art, gathering together the wisdom and legacy of goddesses from around the world. From White Tara in the Tibetan tradition; to Woyengi, a creation goddess of the Nigerian people; to Kali Ma, a beloved luminary to Hindus, Ms. Loar pulls out all the stops to deliver 365 goddesses. No small feat!
As a trained teacher of anthropology and comparative religions, you can imagine how much I am enjoying this book. As a woman on the path to understanding myself—and connecting to the Sacred Feminine within—I'm reveling in its ability to open and inspire me to explore the fullness of the Feminine in its many forms.
We're pleased to present an article by the Ms. Loar, one that is sure to stir your heart too. It's based on her book and is a thought-provoking piece on how we can (and should) reclaim Feminine power by connecting with the Sacred within. Enjoy!
Leave a comment below and you will be entered into a Giveaway drawing to win a copy of Goddesses for Every Day. May your inner goddess grow!
~ Jan Lundy, Editor
Reclaiming Feminine Power by Julie Loar
Nearly forty thousand years ago a Great Goddess was revered, and clay figures of her are the earliest depictions of humans that have been found.Cultures were more agricultural, time was experienced as circular, and the growing cycles of earth were honored.Seasonal festivals celebrated the annual ebb and flow of life as people moved in conscious resonance with shifting cycles of light and dark, life and death.Western culture no longer moves in harmony with natural cycles.In fact, we can no longer see the stars.
In ages past, women were revered as givers of life, and each stage of a woman's life was viewed as an important crossroad, or rite of passage.Women understand cycles because they frame our lives, and there is an intrinsic ebb and flow to the feminine experience.The stages of a woman's life are demarcations of menstruation:pre-puberty, childbearing years, and the cessation of menstrual flow.Each month of an adult woman's life forms a complete cycle of birth and death; a microcosm of life itself.Across the globe these phases were seen as Maiden, Mother and Crone, or Elder, and worshipped as a “triple goddess.”Women’s cycles were seen as mirrors of the cycles of the Sun, Moon and stars.Most ancient cultures honored the elder Crone as a woman who had come fully into her power.Today we fear age, losing the wise voice of experience.
Serious scholars of myth have noticed that the tenor of the stories began to change, and symptoms of this shift in Greek myths included an increasing glorification of war, accompanied by a deteriorating value of agriculture and cyclical time. Western culture has devalued, even demonized, aspects of the feminine for nearly 4,000 years, effectively pushing these archetypes beneath our conscious awareness.The goddess was diminished and was replaced by a solitary, authoritarian male god.The loss of the divine feminine has resulted in a rupture of mind and heart, reverberating through the centuries in violence, alienation and growing environmental devastation.
A resurgence of the sacred feminine is sweeping the planet, but what is the nature of the feminine side of the divine?How is Goddess different from God?These realities profoundly affect the way women view and value themselves and likewise how men perceive everything feminine.The many facets and myriad manifestations of the Goddess embody a seeming paradox, complex and sometimes contradictory.Like life itself, her expressions can be alternately gentle, fierce, loving and nurturing, or creative or destructive.Feminine power is magnetic and attractive, unlike masculine power that sets out to conquer, however subtly.The power of woman is also like the all-encompassing depths of the ocean—able to contain all the joys and sorrows in the world—and still give.
I believe humanity has a deep need to revere the feminine side of the divine.This unmet need is surfacing in our time in such examples as the phenomenal popularity of The Da Vinci Code, which highlighted principles of the feminine.Apparitions of Mary, mother of Jesus, are on the rise around the world.One of the most documented in recent times was in Zeitoun, Egypt, where hundreds of thousands of people of diverse beliefs stood side by side, over a period of twenty-three years, watching as Mary appeared over a small church in a suburb of Cairo. Millions make annual pilgrimages to Fatima, Lourdes, and the site of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico.Worldwide response to the death of beloved Princess Diana of Wales also spoke to our need to revere a feminine archetype.
Women can reconnect and reclaim feminine energy by learning to move more consciously in resonance with cycles:monthly, yearly, and the stages of our lives from maiden, mother and elder crone or grandmother.Embracing the deep symbolic meaning of the cycles of our blood is empowering.Indian cultures have moon lodges where women can be apart when they bleed as this is seen as the height of their monthly power.Paying attention to the phases of the Moon is a simple and powerful way to honor the constant, but ever changing, Moon.We can create a symbolic moon lodge in our own lives.
Seeking the wisdom and counsel of a grandmother can bring that stage of life back to its once-honored place.The strength of a grandmother is a potent force indeed, someone who has stood at the gates of birth and faces the portal of death. We should be willing to sit at the bedside of someone who has chosen to die consciously through hospice. These gateways were once the domain of the crone before being stolen by the patriarchy.
Women can learn more about the diverse myths of global goddesses, taking in the rich legacy of feminine power that was suppressed for so long.Many of these goddesses are alive and well in Hawaii, Africa, India and neo-paganism. Ancient Egyptians said every woman was a nutrit, a “little goddess,” after the nature of the great goddess Nut.I believe it’s time for every woman to live like she believes it.
Julie Loar (formerly Gillentine) has been a student of metaphysics, mythology, and symbolism for more than thirty years. She has traveled to sacred sites around the world researching material for her award-winning books and teaching. She conducts workshops and lectures nationally, and each year she leads a sacred journey to Egypt. She was an executive in two major corporations before turning to writing full-time. Julie lives in Colorado.
This month at Buddha Chick Life we are ‘Celebrating the Feminine’, a theme I now love, but was actually slow to warm up to in my own spiritual journey. When I first began meditating in college, I was resistant to the idea of a sacred feminine – which of course seems strange to me now that I work so much with Women’s Energetics! But at the time, I was attracted to the idea of working at the level of mind and spirit, and I felt that these transcended the body and its concerns, including gender. I also was so steeped in the idea of gender equality – socially, politically, and spiritually – that I hesitated to discuss how men’s and women’s spiritual journeys might be different, because difference seemed to somehow imply inequality.
My journey into chakra and energy work, and the intersection of healing and spirituality, gradually changed my view on this. I no longer view the body, mind, and spirit as independent from each other. Instead, they are a fluid spectrum, and they engage with each other all the time. When we experience spirit, it is also in our body, a vibration that we feel in our very pores. And the experiences of our daily physical life are infused with spirit, from hugging our children, to watching a beautiful sunset, to eating an exquisite meal. To me, we can’t talk about mind and body, or spirit and body, as separate, so of course we can’t discount differences in men’s and women’s experiences, since our bodies (and energy bodies!) are indeed different.
A legend that exemplifies this for me is that of Tara, honored in multiple Buddhist and Hindu traditions as an embodiment of feminine enlightenment. In Tibetan Buddhism, there are actually multiple Taras, each a different color, representing various aspects of enlightenment. The most well-known are Green Tara, representing compassion in action, and White Tara, also representing compassion, along with purity and undifferentiated truth.
Tara is sometimes referred to as the ‘first feminist’ within Buddhism because of a vow she made to incarnate continually in a woman’s body, aiding all sentient beings. According to this legend, before incarnating here in human form, Tara existed as a young princess named Yeshe Dawa, or ‘Moon of Primordial Awareness’, in another realm. She was a devout Buddhist in that realm, and became known for her spiritual attainments. Because of this, some young monks approached her and praised her, advising her that she should pray to be reborn as a man in her next life, to further her progress. To which she replied:
“Here there is no man; there is no woman, no self, no person, and no consciousness. Labeling ‘male’ or ‘female’ is hollow. Oh, how worldly fools delude themselves…Those who wish to attain supreme enlightenment in a man’s body are many, but those who wish to serve the aims of being in a woman’s body are few indeed; therefore may I, until this world is emptied out, work for the benefit of sentient beings in a woman’s body.”
- from The Origin of Tara Tantra, by Jo Nang Taranatha
I love this response because it captures the seeming paradox of talking about the sacred feminine – that on the one hand gender is irrelevant – “labeling male and female is hollow” – and yet acknowledges that there is also something distinct about “serv[ing] the aims of being in a woman’s body.”
Within the tradition of Tantra, this is captured beautifully in the idea of embodied enlightenment. Our bodies – physical and energetic – are like prisms that each refract the clear white light of Source in a unique way, creating our own distinct rainbow. Women’s and men’s bodies refract light differently, so our spiritual experience and practice are at times distinct, but we are both reflections – and both awaken to – the same clear, essential light within us.
This for me is the sacred feminine - embracing the unique ways that women refract, experience, and awaken to the clear light of Source. This is not better or worse than the sacred masculine, and indeed one doesn’t exist without the other. Embracing both, and the beautiful symbols we have for each, is part of the joy of walking a spiritual path. As is embracing our totality - mind, body, and spirit - as one beautiful whole.
May Tara, Mother of Compassion, bless you with her insight this month, and may you indeed celebrate the sacred feminine as it expresses itself in you!
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