You're Not Getting Older, You're Getting Wiser. Really You Are. 


Jan Lundy, Editor



“In youth we learn; in age we understand.”
Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach


Maybe it’s those wiry gray hairs that are overtaking the brown ones or the smile lines etched in my face. Or perhaps it’s the simple fact that time is working its hands upon me and I am aging that fuels my desire to acknowledge it. When you begin to greet the last one-quarter of your life in the mirror each morning, something shifts inside of you. 

Any of you readers who are over 50 know what I’m talking about (though, admittedly, I'm approaching the 60 year milestone). In a recent conversation with a friend, I waxed poetic about my forthcoming “sunset years” and how I would like to spend them. I mentioned writing all the books that were buried inside of me, traveling to exotic places, time spent with family and friends and, maybe, simply sitting on a sturdy deck somewhere gazing upon a beautiful vista. 

A recent conversation with a friend about this gave me reason to pause, In her youthful exuberance (she’s in her early 40s), Char berated me for harboring such thoughts, that I was much too young to be thinking about winding down my life. Yes, I am too young to retire and yes, too driven to sit and stare out a window. All of this reflection of late is not about planning out my retirement. It’s about discerning what is really important to me as Mother Time marches on. How do I really want to spend my time, my energies, as the days of my life wane? 

So I poured a cup of tea, grabbed a pad and pen, and made a list. This is what came:

• I want to speak, teach and write what I know, what I’ve learned on this bumpy journey we call life, if not to benefit others, to simply hear myself speak and acknowledge the validity of my own journey.

• I want to help other people, especially younger women, “find their way,” so to speak, maybe even make the journey a little easier for them.

•I want to have precious time with my children and grandchildren to share the remembrances of my life, so that they can continue to tell the stories of our family to their children.

• I want to leave a legacy. I want to know that my life mattered and that I made a difference in the lives of others.

What I realized from this exercise was that my aging years were not so much about what I wanted for me, but what I wanted for others. It was about what has come to be called “Saging” or “Spiritual Eldering.” Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi coined the phrase and is the founder of the Spiritual Eldering Institute in Philadelphia. He explains the ideal well: “Spiritual eldering means acting as guide, mentor, and agent of healing and reconciliation on behalf of the planet, nation, tribe, clan, and family.”

Without even knowing it, the biological and psychological urges of my 50s have been moving me toward an archetype, becoming what the Rabbi calls a “Wisdom Keeper.” A Wisdom Keeper acknowledges their life journey, the lessons they’ve learned along the way and affirms that this information is of value, important to share with others, especially the next generation. We can choose to do many things with our aging years but can you imagine an effort more worthy than serving as a Wisdom Keeper? Wouldn’t that be a delightful epitaph to have on one’s tombstone?

Perhaps you are a Wisdom Keeper too. Or, if you're not, you're at least thinking about how you'd like to live out your sunset years? Will you sit back and relax and do all of the things you always wanted to? Or will you serve, mentor, or guide others? Perhaps a combination of both. 

No matter what your age, I highly recommend 3 important steps when it comes to your own aging—and coming to terms with it. And being a Wisdom Keeper!

• Take time to reflect upon your life.

In this month's issue of Buddha Chick Life, Kaveri Patel penned a powerful piece, "Precious," about "life with father" that invites us to reflect on our meaningful moments. 

• Acknowledge what you know.

Like author Beth Dargis explains in her article, "It's Not the Products that Make You Beautiful." Remember and celebrate your inner truths.

• Spend time with your elders.

Engage in special conversations with our elders as Kelly Bird has with her grandmother in "Pearls of Grandmother's Wisdom."

Turning our aging years into saging years provides a unique opportunity for us to make good on this precious life we've been given.

I’m hoping many of us will do so as we walk into the sunset.


For additional information on Saging, including training programs and resources in your area, visit www.spiritualeldering.org



(Image by artist Susan Seddon Boulet.)

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Jan Lundy is the editor of "Buddha Chick Life." She is passionate about supporting people on their life journeys. Whether it is through her service as an Interfaith Spiritual Director, as a teacher or writer, her dedication to the spiritual journey is evident. Her work with others focuses on how to live mindfully, with compassion and loving-kindness for ourselves and all beings. She is the author of four personal/spiritual growth books for women, her newest being, Your Truest Self: Embracing the Woman You Are Meant to Be (Sorin Books). She is a student of the world's spiritual traditions and a teacher of Metta. Jan calls the peace-filled shores of Lake Michigan home. 
You may enjoy subscribing to Jan's daily "Beads of Wisdom" or receive her free downloadable book, "Fully Awake: The 12 Essential Practices." She teaches online courses of her own creation at her website and for DailyOm.com. Visit her website, JanLundy.com. 

January's Guest Mentor - Raphael Cushnir, Author

The One Thing Holding You Back: Unleashing the Power of Emotional Connection

Leann Harris




An Mp3 teaching and Audio Book Giveaway! Leave a comment below to win!


I had the pleasure of speaking with Raphael Cushnir on his latest projects and his work.  During our conversation, Raphael explained his work and one of his projects in 2012, "Teaching What We Need to Learn" (http://www.TeachingWhatWeNeedToLearn.com), in which he interviewed over 30 modern Spiritual Teachers and Guides about their deep, personal growth.  His mission with this series was to have a different conversation – a more vulnerable conversation – than what they normally have. Our conversation spanned awareness, meditation, personal transformation, and where he’s headed next.

I have read Raphael’s books and audio recordings for years and he is just as grounded and open-hearted as his writings. Emotional Connection is a big part of his work and he’s committed to helping others learn how to connect with themselves and others. He has a strikingly realistic approach to how many people function in the world and observes, “Resistance to emotions is what makes the world go round, in terms of drama and the trauma.” He goes on to explain that his goal is to “create a field of emotional connection between himself and other people” and give them the space to explore their lives.

More than anything, Raphael’s message is expressed in a quote from his book, Bliss: “Our commitment to vulnerability in a subtle paradox is what renders us truly invincible. The most courageous choice in our lives is to be vulnerable.” I can’t help but to agree.  I truly hope you enjoy this interview as much as I did.


Listen to the interview and teaching here. (30 min.)

 


Aging from the Inside Out

Jennifer Niedzielski




For over twenty years, my grandmother was 64-years-old. (Yes, you read that correctly.) I vividly recall the day I begin to question how this could be true. We were all gathering around the dining room table and small round cake with a single candle to sing happy birthday when I asked her how old she was.

 “64,” she said proudly.

I paused. I’ve heard this before, I thought to myself.

“Grandma, you’ve been 64 forrrreeeevvvveeeer!,” I said as exaggerated as any 8-year-old would.

She simply smiled.

For all intents and purposes, she could have been whatever age she wanted to be. This was a woman, who in her mid-80’s, attended two Jazzercise classes per week and drove a full-size Dodge truck. Growing up with a grandma that was so active was normal for me. I never questioned how, at age 80, she was able to shop till she dropped, meet her girlfriends every Thursday at the hair salon, and live entirely on her own. In my eyes, my grandmother never aged. It wasn’t until after witnessing her 10-year battle with ovarian cancer that I finally understood the secret to her agelessness -- her attitude.

Remaining Ageless While Aging

My grandmother was a profound teacher of how to remain ageless as she aged. Her attitude kept her mind strong, which in turned allowed her body to be strong as well. I believe her positive attitude is why she was able to battle ovarian cancer for over a decade and still be able to move to the grove of Usher’s “Yeah!” at Jazzercise! Even in the very last days of her life, she remained unexplainably positive as she looked forward to my brother’s upcoming wedding and the birth of my first child.

My grandma’s resiliency to life’s ups and downs as well as her ability to not let her aging physical form stop her has taught me that my attitude comes from a place that is untouchable by time and life circumstances. I’ve realized that my attitude is an extension and a representation of my divine core-- my sacred Self. It’s incredibly empowering to realize that I have a solid and unchangeable touch point nestled within my aging outer self. My sacred Self remains constant among all the physical and environmental changes my body is destined to endure in this human experience. For there is so much about this physical life that I cannot control; I cannot stop time. I cannot stop my hair from changing color, my body from changing form, or my children growing up and leaving home. But I can control my attitude in response to these things. My positive attitude keeps me ageless because it comes from the center of my divine, ageless being. It helps me to focus my attention on all the love, compassion, and joy that fills my heart and surrounds me at every stage in my life. And I’ve noticed that when I feel this good and happy about life, the physical and environmental changes that happen to my outer self lose their power to create suffering in my mind.

Conscious Agelessness

My grandmother really is ageless in every sense of the word. Even after she transcended her physical form six years ago, her ageless energy, love, and positivity remain in my heart. It inspires me to be proud, positive, and purposeful with my life. A positive attitude is ageless because it’s love energy pouring forth from a divine font that is impervious to the hands of time. As each day passes, I am conscious about aging gracefully from the inside out. Conscious aging is simply that-- focusing more of my attention on the inside, on my inner-Self that is forever beautiful and divine than on the physical changes of my outer self. I am so fortunate to have witnessed the power of a positive attitude in my upbringing. Aging agelessly is a tradition that is passed down from generation to generation. My own children have such a wonderful example set by their grandmother, as well. For their grandmother not only attends Jazzercise several times a week, she’s been teaching the class for the last 25+ years. All that Jazzercising keeps her in shape for the triathlons she completes every summer. A strong mind really does make a strong body.

Because of the example my grandmother has set, and the one my mother embodies in her everyday life, my purpose is to age (or remain ageless) from the inside out. I know if I do, I will still be rockin’ yoga poses at 84 and telling my swarm of grandchildren for twenty years that I am not a day over 64.

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Jennifer Niedzielski is a teacher, writer, mother of three young daughters, and the co-founder of Mindful Moms Network™. After teaching in the traditional classroom setting for over 12 years, she is transcending classroom walls to inspire and teach women how to reclaim their calm and take exquisite care of their mind, body, and inner-selves amidst the chaos of mothering. Through Mindful Moms, it is her intention to create a nurturing and supportive community that encourages moms to mother in the moment, celebrate themselves, and live life on purpose.

Visit us at Mindful Moms Network.com: http://mindfulmomsnetwork.com/index.html  and our Facebook page:                  http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1275432069#!/MindfulMoms

It's Not the Products that Make You Beautiful

Beth Dargis



Why do you have all those products in your bathroom? You know the ones that promise ageless beauty. You probably have open bottles of serums and lotions all over. When one bottle doesn’t deliver on its promise, you buy another to use. 

The bathroom becomes cluttered when you believe all the hype and keep buying to make yourself feel better. We are so afraid of looking older and invisible that we will buy almost anything to prevent that. 

But, think of the beautiful, older women you know. Are they beautiful because they have no wrinkles? Or hide their greys? Or keep their lips plump?

The beautiful, older women I know are beautiful because of their smile, their kindness, their enjoyment of life. They glow with wisdom and understanding.

So this week, think about releasing some of those old products that didn’t work. 

There is nothing wrong with trying to look your best. But do you really need dozens of products to do that?

You can develop a new habit that will prevent the bathroom clutter. Only open one of anything at a time. Use one night cream until it is gone before trying another one. When a new night cream calls to you, remind yourself that it is an advertising exec that is telling you that the new night cream is better than what you are using. It most likely will not produce a miraculous result. And you’ll probably want to try a new cream before the brand new one is gone.

Just one eye cream, one foundation, one face cleanser.  How would it feel to let go of all those products? Time to declutter that bathroom!

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Beth is living the simpler life in West Michigan. She helps the overwhelmed create saner, simpler lives. She delivers...

Untamed possibility. Breathe easier simplicity. Hope.
On the wings of understanding and encouragement.
Step by step breaking down from “no way! “ to “why not?”

She loves giving hope to people that come to her thinking it can’t be done. She was not born organized and had to learn the skills. Things like overcoming perfectionism and procrastination. And knowing what is for dinner before 5pm. You can get more tips at her blog and also get the free Declutter Calendar that breaks down decluttering into small, simple steps: http://www.mysimplerlife.com/blog

Getting into Alignment with Your Life

Sile Walsh




When life is not how you want it to be and every effort you make to go in a certain direction fails, consider my story.

Whenever a day goes against you, turns out you're out of alignment with the bigger picture. This empowers you to let go a little bit, take a deep breath, and ask what the universe has to offer that’s better than your plan.  Surrendering to that isn’t easy, but once you do, the day and life flows better!

I realized this in its entirety recently, after sleeping in, spilling my massage oil, skidding in the car and forgetting the keys I needed for work. All of this happened before 9:00 a.m. on a Wednesday moring. So when I had finished my pity party and my complaining, I realised I was ignoring something.  Something important. 

I sat in front of my laptop in the office and just asked … "What are you showing me?" Then I sat there and waited for the answer to show up. It didn’t so I carried on working, stressing and planning my day. Out of the blue I got the inspiration: ‘SLOW DOWN’. This is odd as I am Miss Busy Boots.  But I cancelled my appointments and freed up sometime.  This is scary. Would the world stop turning if I slowed down? Apparently NOT! Would I lose my clients? Well, it was more likely I'd lose them by giving then less-than-my-best attempt than actually choosing to cancel. It turns out that both clients didn’t have time anyway and were under pressure to attend.

When I acknowledged the need to flow with the universe, the universe provided more than I could have even managed! How amazing is that! A work colleague making a cup of tea and bringing me a slice of cake. He actually waited on me. It was nice to have someone do such a kind thing for me. Then a peaceful drive home even though traffic is usually annoying enroute. Not this night. And, lastly, a cooked dinner and, when I did go to my class it was actually a busy class and we stayed there until 11.30 p.m. instead of 9:00 p.m. What an amazing day played out even if I was doing my best to ignore the universe!

So using my little story as a picture of how to get into alignment, ask yourself: "When something seems to be going against me what aren’t  I getting?" 

This is a daily practice of following the flow, surrendering to life and to live more happily and fully. It's not about doing nothing, but it is about being open to alternative routes.

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Sile began her training in India before she turned 21 and hasn't finished yet, or will she any time soon.  Working with the SQ Wellness Foundation and through her holistic site www. silewalsh.com, she has helped many people find their way through their dilemmas, twists and turns. 
 In this ever changing world Sile’s never ending quest for knowledge, is a truly inspiring outlook on life.  Helping those along the way, and knowing everyone has something she can learn and grow from, this young lady has her sights set on great things. To find out more simply visit her website at www.silewalsh.com or email her Info@silewalsh.com

Being Truly Seen ~ A Meditation


(Including MP3 audio)

Lisa Erickson




Image: "Heart Chakra" by Heidi Norman


Are you afraid of being truly seen? For who you really are? Do you hide parts of yourself out of fear, insecurity, or self-doubt?

Opening our heart is a brave act. To open our heart is to accept everyone and everything in our life unconditionally. To accept it all, and embrace it all, and stop living in projections of what we think life should be. And like everything this begins in our own hearts – in our ability to accept and embrace ourselves in this way.

Our ability to love others, and to feel loved, is in direct proportion to how much we have opened to our true selves. Most of us hide parts of ourselves out of a fear of being hurt, or out of a sense of unworthiness. We do not want others to see these shadows. We often do not even want to see them ourselves, and try to forget they exist. But all of the energy we put into hiding parts of ourselves blocks us from owning our true radiance.

From an energetic perspective, these blocks are often lodged in our heart chakra. It’s almost like we have a small, scared child inside of us saying ‘I don’t deserve this, I am unworthy.’ Until we find and embrace this child, and release the emotions that feed her, our heart can never truly open. We must keep it closed, to keep her hidden. We fear that if she is exposed, if anyone knew what was truly inside of us, we could never be lovable. Ironically though, it’s this very fear that keeps us from ever feeling the full radiance of love as our own being.

There are many ways to work with this. Indeed, you could say every spiritual path that exists ultimately comes down to this – how to open our heart, how to release these blocks that we have in the name of self-protection. My own path is to work energetically, and so I offer you the following guided meditation to help you heal this part of yourself, and allow yourself to be truly seen.

In this meditation, you will try and ‘select’, or connect with a pattern, emotion, or feeling in yourself that you know represents one way you block your own heart from giving or receiving. Doing this will allow you to work directly with your own subtle body, deep in your own heart chakra, to heal and release this energy. Then you will invite divine light to see you, as you truly are, and bring this light into your own heart.

Enjoy, and may you feel the radiance of this season, and a true opening of your heart, as move through Solstice, the holidays, and the New Year!

Lisa is a meditation teacher, energy worker, writer, and mom to three. She loves helping people heal and explore the unseen aspects of themselves through chakra (energy center) meditation and related energy body work. She specializes in women's energetics - the distinct characteristics and phases of women's subtle bodies, and the special spiritual doorways available to women through their feminine divinity. In her work she draws on many diverse traditions, including Vajrayana Buddhism, Tantra, Zen, gnostic Christianity, shamanism, yoga, astrology, and several energy healing systems, most particularly the work of Cyndi Dale. She writes on all these subjects at her blog Mommy Mystic (http://www.MommyMystic.com), as well as writing regularly on Buddhism for Bellaonline (http://buddhism.bellaonline.com/Site.asp), where she is the Buddhism site editor. She offers classes, workshops and personal sessions through The Maat Institute (http://www.themaatinstitute.com.) Lisa's column here is entitled, "Women's Energetics."

A Book Review and Giveaway! 

The Magical Path: Creating the Life of Your Dreams and a World that Works for All 


by Marc Allen







Enter our Book Giveaway Drawing! Leave a comment here and you'll be eligible to win a copy of The Magical Path, courtesy of the publisher, New World Library. 


Book Review
by Leann Harris

Marc Allen’s The Magical Path is a tightly-packed treasure of wisdom, insight and inspiration.  Allen’s style is very warm and comforting and he presents a tremendous amount of information for such a short book. Don’t let the size fool you; if you are looking for meditation, affirmations, or a fascinating read on many paths, this is the book for you! Allen has a unique voice that blends ancient teachings across spiritual disciplines with a modern twist.

I really appreciate how Allen began the book—with a reminder to take what you find useful and leave the rest. After this introduction, he explains what “magical” means to him: “it is the mysterious process by which something is created out of apparently nothing. It is the process that has created this entire vast universe with you and me sitting in it and pondering these words at this moment. It is the ever-mysterious process of life — call it what you will.” The practices he includes in the rest of the book explore how to set this magic into motion. He sets the stage for the rest of the book by encouraging the reader to try on the practices he outlines in order to take this inner journey.

I really enjoyed how Allen focused on practices which help us become aware of our world, but he didn’t leave us to be in the world alone. These experiences are then channeled into use with his chapter on "Community" and our role in it. He emphasizes that even though we can dedicate our lives to social causes or justice; this is all just outer work. The real change comes by doing the inner work necessary to express the kindness within us all. The author gives us myriad tools with which to start and makes it very easy for us to begin to walk our true path. 

Allen begins his instruction with meditations he calls the “Middle Pillar of Light”. He bases it on the idea that every human has a force within them that can be used to direct the flow of life.  While I won’t give away the process here, I thought his instruction was thorough and detailed. Meditation is not an intellectual exercise. Throughout the book he touches on bodily senses and imagery.  He also includes affirmations which complement each particular meditation and encourages the reader to try them out and see if they work.

Allen covers a vast number of topics from healing, the power of the spoken and written word, protections, time, money and the Kabbalah. I think my favorite chapters were the ones on "Prayer and Mantra" and "Magical Relationships." I found the mantras and prayers he included to be very centering and a great reminder to tap into Source. When I did them, I felt reassured and grounded. His tone in this book is very inspiring but I found this chapter to be especially so. I also have a soft spot for anyone trying to bring clarity to relationships. I loved how he started the chapter with a great quote from Huston Smith—“The human opportunity, the religions tell us, is to transform our flashes of insight into abiding light.”  —and ended it with a simple key to fulfilling relationships. This chapter is one of the larger ones and it’s packed full of meditations and insights on every kind of relationship we can have.  So if you’re looking to examine your personal, work, or your relationship with yourself, this is the chapter to savor.


Leave a comment below and you'll be entered into the drawing to win a copy of The Magical Path!


Learn more about The Magical Path by visiting NewWorldLibrary. com

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Marc Allen is a renowned author, composer, and speaker. On the day he turned thirty, Marc cofounded New World Library with Shakti Gawain, and as the company's president and publisher, he has guided it from a small start-up operation with no capital to become one of the leading publishers in its field. He has written numerous books, including The Greatest Secret of All, Visionary Business, The Millionaire Course, and The Type-Z Guide to Success. He has also recorded several albums of music, including Awakening, Breathe, and Solo Flight. He is a popular speaker and seminar leader based in the San Francisco Bay Area. For more about Marc, including his free monthly teleseminars, see www.MarcAllen.com. For more about his music (including free samples), see www.WatercourseMedia.com. 

Author, Leann Harris, is a meditation teacher, writer and spiritual seeker who has finally found home. Along her way, she has delved into many practices, but considers Buddhism her foundation for depth and breadth. She is committed to helping others recognize their own wisdom so that they may nourish a deeply rewarding and inspiring life. Leann writes at www.BrightnessInspired.com, where she gives gentle and grounded guidance on meditation, spirituality, Buddhism, and relationships, all tailored for spiritual seekers who want their own path illuminated. Her wish is for everyone to live a gratifying and open-hearted life, and to be Inspired by their own Brightness. Leann writes our book reviews and interviews notable authors.

Awakening to Saying Yes to "What Is"
A Journey to Positive Change

Cindy Harpe-Hively






We are living in a time and place where our comfort level, our security, the worry of "what next" is eating at our very being as women, at our very soul. I know this ... I too feel this way. I asked myself why, why, why am I having these pesky mind thoughts looping in my mind? I then had to find out the answer so I could move on and replace this negativity with an open space for something good to take the new space. 

This is what I discovered for me and I think also for most women: we are hard wired to take on the emotions of the "what if's" and pick up the pieces when things do become difficult. We intuitively know life at times will be difficult; it is a no brainier. We also are bombarded by constant doom and gloom from all media, which even makes our thought patterns worse. Two months ago I decided to try an experiment on myself to see if my mood and vibration level would change and go up. In other words, will I be happier, worry less, feel more empowered? The experiment was no television, no newspapers, no discussions about how we are all going to hell in a hand basket. The outcome to this experiment was extreme positivity. I felt wonderful, I had more time for me, I had more time to help others, I had a change of of heart of loving all beings and felt more connected with life in it's purist form.

When a recent event such as a job loss, end of a relationship, an illness or any life difficulty has shaken you to the core, what do you do? Do you embrace the road you are now on or do you resist, react, and avoid change at all costs? It’s a choice that will either paralyze you or propel you forward towards self-growth.

Being on the verge of impending change is probably one of the hardest places to be. At every fork in the road there are decisions that need to be made and questions about the outcome. The slate is blank and the only choices are to stay where you are or move forward. What choice will you make? To get to the point of life-changing transformation, we need to do the work. And change, good or bad, is painful. It is the ending of one life and a beginning of another. How do you deal with that fear of the unknown? Do you jump into the next phase of your life allowing the “what if’s” to consume your thoughts and dictate your actions? Or do you open yourself up to something different? Ask yourself how often you make unconscious decisions about your future that end up propelling you into self-sabotaging behavior. You could turn the other cheek and continue doing what you’ve always done or you could open your eyes to its gift. That gift is the opportunity you have to create a conscious, healthy and rich life (as in soul rich), the life that you really want for you, your family and all beings. It’s a life that comes out of self-growth and life-changing transformation. How do you get there?

Here are six things you can do that writer Brandy-Ann Uyemura shares in the midst of uncertainty to choose differently that will ultimately change the trajectory of your life. These are so simple, familiar and yet there is difficulty, what is it? The difficulty is choosing to say yes to what is, you have to say yes to what is. That choice is what will get you through, just say "YES" to change.

1. Don't Panic
When you’re first taught how to swim, what was the first thing you learned? “Whatever you do, don’t panic!” Panic is one of the reasons people drown. It’s also the reason why you make disastrous unconscious decisions that dictate your life and why you get stuck in limbo not wanting to make a decision either way. The ocean becomes symbolic of our lives where those who survive take a deep breath and go with the tide, and others who panic are swallowed by the waves of their own fear. A way to interrupt the flow of fear is to just notice it. Refocusing your attention on your physical sensations, your heart beating, your shoulders tensing, may help to shift your mood and prevent you from doing something you might regret.

2. Don't React
So what do we do when we don’t know what to do? First, stop, take a deep breath and don’t do anything. Eckhart Tolle, spiritual teacher and author of Stillness Speaks says to “become at ease with the state of ‘not knowing’.” It is having faith and trusting what you do know in the unknown.

Knowing, for example, that the tide will recede, the vast encumbrances of our lives will pass. Sure you may not know if you’re making the right decisions, but there are no guarantees in life anyway. In all situations, there is an undercurrent of change and risk lurking just beneath the surface.

3. Acceptance
Learning to accept your situation will help you develop a sense of empowerment over the unknown. You may not know, for example, what the future holds, but being present and focusing on what you can do today, gives you control over your future decisions. In addition, trying to run, avoid, or distance yourself from fear, only transforms it into a bigger monster. Meditate, talk to friends, family or a counselor, and express yourself through art, exercise, and spirituality and in those activities, you will find the space to express not repress your emotions. Then with time, patience and self-compassion, you will eventually find acceptance in your situation.

4. Reflect on the past
Another activity is to recall times in your life when you were faced with an unknown. Then, think about how you handled the situation and how the events of your life eventually unfolded. More times than not, our worries and anxieties are unnecessary and are unfounded. Remembering these incidents will remind you that you have gone through difficult situations before and that you can do it again. Use your past experiences to bring you strength, to lift you up and to remind you what you are capable of.

5. Make conscious decisions
When fearful, our options seem limited but when we are at peace, more possibilities open up. Go over your list of what ifs again and see if you can incorporate a more balanced list of the best and worst scenarios possible. Then talk to love ones about what you would do in each situation and the choices you do have. This is the use of others that will help you see with more clarity. There may be options you overlooked and friends and family may be able to put your situation in perspective. Sometimes our greatest worries begin to dissipate once we begin expressing them. Lastly, give yourself a timeline. Create a goal for yourself and make conscious clear decisions about where you want to go in your life and when you want to do it.

6. Befriend your fears
We often perceive fears as our greatest enemy, yet they provide us with an enormous opportunity for self-growth. What if we were to see them as friends who want to help us become a better person, a person who isn’t afraid to be more of who we really are? Let your fears help you instead of hurt you by asking them, “Why are you here? What are you trying to teach me?” Then, write down what comes to you. You may be surprised by the answers.


(Source: http://brandi-annuyemura.com)

I believe that every situation, especially the challenging ones, provides us with an opportunity to grow as the women we are meant to be, if we let it. Not grow as women that we think everyone else thinks we should be! At the surface, change and the unknown, a seemingly daunting duo are actually disguises for two loving teachers who really want us to transform into the strong, authentic and powerful women we already are. The sooner we’re able to get that, the sooner
we will truly live with freedom and grace in the life we have chosen and that has been so beautifully gifted to us. All of us experience change in our lives. Change is the one constant in our lives. There are changes that we look forward to and change that we fear. However, one thing is for sure. Things will not stay the same no matter how much we would like them too. When a life change occurs, we have two choices in how to respond. We can despair that a change has come and assume that things will be worse, or we can look with excitement at the new possibilities that the change presents.


~ Cindy Harpe Hively



Letting Go and Holding On

by Martha Turner

Oh how I love life,
walking outside in autumn season
and smelling the leaves floating on the warm breeze.
Couples walking hand and hand,
smiles of happiness from being in love
owners walking their dogs,
kids laughing and playing,
birds chirping and singing all day long
each and everyday the world continues on.

I get tired of it's confusion
tired of the pain.
I'm tired of the emptiness from hearts I've parted from.
Tired of wishing for more but not knowing which way to turn
and sometimes too scared to look back.
To let go completely of yesterday,
and grasp a hold on the hope of tomorrow.
A hope that if tomorrow gets here, it won't be like yesterday.

Yesterday's holding on to the hope of a lost love
yesterday's disappointments of the same ol' routine
yesterday's wishing bills didn't exist
so there wouldn't be any living from check to check.
Yesterday's empty dreams of a fairy tail ending,
Wanting an end to all my struggling.
OH... holding onto the hope of tomorrow...

A tomorrow filled with pure happiness
knowing that this direction on the path is the one and only way...
Success.
A tomorrow filled with the reassurance that your headed for better days.
A tomorrow with a love that was sent to you from the heaven above that will only grow deeper and deeper as time goes by to last forever.
A tomorrow that will complete and fulfill yesterdays wants and dreams.
A tomorrow that will conquer all my hardships and troubles.




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  Cindy calls the Roanoke Valley in Virginia her home. She is surrounded by beautiful mountains that inspire and heal her everyday. Having worked twenty five years in the retail industry, she moved up quickly and loved her career, but had to quit work due to chronic illness. She is on a healing journey through Metta meditation, mindfulness practices and self compassion. Cindy's heads up the "Mindful Living" department here. She also writes here: "Awakening The Woman Within" with Goffstown Today,   www.Goffstowntoday.com  Simple Steps Real Change, FB page   http://www.simplestepsrealchange.com Psychological Health of Roanoke, VA,   www.PsychHealthRoanoke.blogspot.com Cindy (Harpe) Hively FB page,   http://facebook.com/cindyhivelybc   

Danielle, in her own words: I am a young woman seeking out ways to help and heal my life.  I am releasing my fears and worries to enlighten and lift my being in order to better myself, my children and the world around me.  I am learning to be responsible for my energy and my contribution.  I live in tiny town in the middle of Illinois on 2 beautiful sandy lakes surrounded by family.  I have 14 beautiful healthy nieces and nephews and 2 amazingly bright children that help me to live life on the silly side.  Children are so pure and free to be.  They inspire me to let loose and live optimistically. Danielle writes the column "Buddha Babies."

Rosemary is Creator, Healer and Mentor and helps people to transition to transformation.

Rosemary loves nature, lives in a beautiful environment and enthuses about the sea. Photography and Art are part of her toolbox and she is aware of the ‘soul touch’ of any who come into contact with her work. She strongly believes in the healing power of nature and loves to walk in the countryside and in the woods surrounding her home not far from London.

She has been writing for many years and is passionate about her subject. In her home country of UK, she studied beyond English at college, Creative Writing, Writing for Children, Children’s Fiction, Picture Book, Short Story Writing and has written a column in a local newspaper as well as theatre crits, articles and has had many poems in anthologies. She has read her work at events. Rosemary was the Creator of Binka, the children’s television series.

Currently she writes on line with women’s groups and takes writing workshops as part of her Creative Empowerment series to help people to open and to create from the heart.

In addition she has created A Book For Now and Another Book For Now which have uplifting and helpful sentences in them alongside some of her own artwork. A  few of her other Self Help books are Fraught With Thought, The Magic of Life, Conscious Wellbeing and Look, Live, Survive and a Book Of Children Now. She has been working on another book.

www.creative-empowerment.co.uk, www.creativerosemary.com,

www.thelifeawakener.wordpress.com She is also part of A New Life Now.  www.anewlifenow.weebly.com