Family

by Kaveri Patel












with family
it's complicated
guarded hearts
miles of barbed wire

defenses down
open to hurt
holding myself
to hold you


If you’ve been raised by a family or currently have a family of your own, you certainly know what it’s like to have a disagreement.  Feelings of anger can manifest as intense body heat and a tightly clenched jaw.  Your shoulders may slump from disappointment in feeling unheard, unseen.  Your beautiful beating heart that once held so much love and gratitude for this family member is now encased in a barbed wire fence as you find yourself disconnected, isolated, and alone.

Biologically, we are wired to respond in one of three ways - fighting, fleeing, or freezing.  After an argument with my husband, mother, or daughter, it’s so easy to regress to a primordial state.  I feel justified in yelling and trying to get in the last word, doing my best to blame them and point out all the obvious reasons why it’s their fault.  Sometimes I walk away with a sad look on my face hoping they will be overwhelmed by guilt and come looking for me to apologize.

I’d like to introduce a fourth option, the adult time out.  Sometimes I will retreat to my meditation cushion and sit for a few minutes, allowing my breath to gently tame the turbulent emotions with kind and compassionate attention.  At other times I might take some slow deep breaths and feel my feet on the ground or my contact with the chair as I look outside and remember Mother Earth supporting me in countless, mysterious ways.

I hold my hurt feelings tenderly until I no longer wish to erect a barbed wire fence around my heart cutting those who get too close.  My heart becomes an open field inviting others to share their feelings freely.  Weeds of ignorance transform into wildflowers of understanding and forgiveness as I remember that my family just wants to feel happy, safe, and loved as I do.

If we could all pause in such difficult moments with family, friends, colleagues, coworkers, and maybe even our enemies, imagine the possibilities.

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Kaveri has been on a quest to find answers, not through religious texts, any particular person or popular dogma,but through her own experiences. She lives with her wonderful family in northern California where she practices medicine, meditation, parenting, yoga, writing, and patience. Kaveri's column here focuses on "Living Poetry." Her first book of poetry, An Invitation, has just been released. She can be reached at: aninvitationpoetry@gmail.com

Discovering Bhakti Yoga Through Devotional Poetry

by Jay Schryer









Bhakti yoga is one method of attaining enlightenment in Hindu spirituality. Known as the path of love or devotion, it calls for the practitioner to love a personal god with all his heart and being. When the devotee surrenders completely, unification with the Divine is assured. Sakhya Bhakti is the practice of cultivating a personal relationship with the Divine, thinking of Him/Her/It as a parent, friend, or even lover.

There are many ways that a devotee might show his love and devotion, but one that is often overlooked is the act of composing devotional poetry. Just as countless love songs have been written for human lovers, so have they been written for the Divine. Nearly every religion and every culture has had devotional poets who expressed their love through word or song.

Traditional Hindu literature has given us many examples of this type of devotion. In the Ramayana, Hanuman is a devotee of Rama (Vishnu), and in the Mahabharata, we have the story of Draupadi who was devoted to Krishna. In the Bhagavad Gita, the relationship between Arjuna and Krishna is explored. There is also a popular 18th century Bengali poet named Ramprasad Sen who worshipped the goddess Kali as the Divine Mother and unmanifest Brahman. Looking more closely at each of these stories of devotion yields a better understanding of Sakhya Bhakti.

In the Mahabharata, Draupadi has a close friendship with Krishna. When Draupadi is at risk of being publicly humiliated, she calls out to Krishna to save her, and he does:

O Krishna, O Krishna,
O thou great yogi, thou soul of the universe,
Thou creator of all things,
O Govinda, save me who am distressed,
who am losing my senses in the midst of the Kurus.
(Ganguli, sec. LXVI).

Krishna also has a personal friendship with Arjuna. In fact, Arjuna’s relationship with Krishna is the basis for the Bhagavad Gita, a section of the Mahabharata which is sometimes read as a complete story in itself; a story that explains (among other things) the concept of bhakti yoga. Krishna tells Arjuna that those who love him are greatly loved by him (poetic line breaks added by me):

That one I love who is incapable of ill will,
who is friendly and compassionate.
Living beyond the reach of “I” and “mine” and of pleasure and pain,
patient, contented, self-controlled, firm in faith,
with all their heart and all their mind given to me­:
with such as these I am in love.
Not agitating the world or by it agitated,
they stand above the sway of elation, competition, and fear:
that one is my beloved.
They are detached, pure, efficient, impartial,
never anxious, selfless in all their undertakings;
they are my devotees, very dear to me.
That one is dear to me
who runs not after the pleasant or away from the painful,
grieves not, lusts not, but lets things come and go as they happen.
That devotee who looks upon friend and foe with equal regard,
who is not buoyed up by praise nor cast down by blame,
alike in heat and cold, pleasure and pain,
free from selfish attachments,
the same in honor and dishonor,
quiet, ever full, in harmony everywhere,
firm in faith:
Such a one is dear to me.

(Easwaran ch. 12, v. 13-20).

Ramprasad Sen, a devotee of Kali, popularized a specific form of devotional poetry that is still popular today. In this poem, Ramprasad sings how he is without fear because his divine mother protects him:

Whom could I fear in the universe
where my Mother is matriarch?
I live with perfect ease upon her estate,
indivisible awareness and bliss.
I am her direct tenant,
free from formality and hierarchy.
There is no payment of rent for this sanctuary,
this garden of nonduality,
its value beyond assessment by the mind.
Nor can my sacred abode be sold at auction,
for there are no owners and nothing to own.
The manager of Mother's holdings, Lord Shiva,
transcends every limited conception and transaction.
There is no disharmony or injustice here,
for there is no division, no separation.
Mother does not impose the heavy tax
of religious obligation.
My only responsibility of stewardship
is constant inward remembrance,
eternally breathing Kali, Kali, Kali.
This mad poet lover,
born directly from Divine Mother,
cherishes one consuming desire:
to purchase her diamond paradise of delight
with the boundless treasure of pure love
and give it away freely to all beings
(Hixon Lines 1-26).

The concept of Bhakti is not isolated to Hinduism. Indeed, most, if not all, of the world’s religions contain an element of love and devotion for God. Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity, Islam, and even the religion of ancient Greece provide worthy examples of bhakti devotion through poetry.

In Buddhism, bhakti is often expressed as compassion and loving-kindness. Compassion is one of the founding principles of Buddhism, and another expression of bhakti yoga. In the Karaniya Metta Sutta, The Buddha teaches that love for all beings ends the cycle of rebirth:

As a mother would risk her life
to protect her child, her only child,
even so should one cultivate a limitless heart
with regard to all beings.
With good will for the entire cosmos,
cultivate a limitless heart:
Above, below, & all around,
unobstructed, without hostility or hate.
Whether standing, walking,
sitting, or lying down,
as long as one is alert,
one should be resolved on this mindfulness.
This is called a sublime abiding
here & now.
Not taken with views,
but virtuous & consummate in vision,
having subdued desire for sensual pleasures,
one never again
will lie in the womb.
(Bhikkhu sec. I.8)

In ancient Greece, Sappho of Lesbos could be considered one of the first Western bhakti yogis, with her devotional poetry to Aphrodite. Throughout her work, Sappho displays a very personal relationship with Aphrodite, sometimes talking with her as she would a close friend:

…you asked, What ailed me now that
made me call you again? What
was it that my distracted
heart most wanted? ‘Whom has
Persuasion to bring round now
to your love? Who, Sappho, is
unfair to you? For, let her
run, she will soon run after;
if she won't accept gifts, she
will one day give them; and if
she won't love you -- she soon will
love, although unwillingly....’
If ever – come now! Relieve
this intolerable pain!
(Barnard fig. 38)

Sappho has (or at least imagines she has) a very personal relationship with Aphrodite; she imagines the goddess will take care of her and grant her wishes, much like the relationship between Draupadi and Krishna in the Mahabharata.

Christianity could be thought of as a bhakti yogic practice, for it is centered on the love that devotees have for Christ, and the love that Christ returns to his devotees. In fact, when asked what the greatest commandment was, Christ gave an answer that could be read as the textbook definition of bhakti (poetic line breaks added by me):

Jesus said unto him,
Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart,
and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
This is the first and great commandment.
(New American Standard Bible, Matt. 22:36-38)

In Judaism, the psalms are a good example of bhakti yoga, because they were originally composed as devotional hymns and poems. One Psalm that is particularly striking in its portrayal of love and devotion is Psalm 63:

God, you are my God;
I search for You,
My soul thirsts for You,
My body yearns for You,
As a parched and thirsty land that has no water.
I shall behold You in the sanctuary,
And see Your might and glory,
Truly Your faithfulness is better than life;
My lips declare Your praise.
I bless You all my life;
I lift up my hands, invoking Your name.
I am sated as with a “rich feast,”
I sing praises with joyful lips
When I call you to mind upon my bed,
When I think of You in the watches of the night;
For you are my help,
And in the shadow of your wings
I shout for joy.
My soul is attached to You;
Your right hand supports me.

(The Jewish Study Bible, Psalms 63)

Islam frowns upon any musical expression that isn’t devotional in nature, and so there is a rich tradition of devotional music and poetry. The Persian poet Rumi is the prime example of bhakti devotion in the Islamic world. Rumi believed that Love was itself a religion, better than all others:

A true Lover doesn't follow any one religion,
be sure of that.
Since in the religion of Love,
there is no irreverence or faith.
When in Love,
body, mind, heart and soul don't even exist.
Become this,
fall in Love,
and you will not be separated again.

(Shiva, fig. 1)

With examples from Rumi, Sappho, the Psalms, and the Bhagavad Gita, one can see that devotional poetry is among the richest and most beautiful poetry in the world. Across time and across cultures, humans have always longed for an intimate connection with the Divine, no matter how they envision that to be. Sappho, with her friend Aphrodite; Arjuna and Draupadi, with their friend Krishna; Hanuman, with his friend Vishnu; Rumi, with his Divine Beloved; Ramprasad Sen, with his Divine Mother; and David, with his Divine Father have given the world great treasures by sharing their relationships with the Divine. Their love and devotion have shown us all how to unite with the Divine. They have taught us the meaning of bhakti yoga.

Works Cited

Barnard, Mary. Sappho. Los Angeles, CA: University of California Press, 1958. Print.

Bhikkhu, Thanissaro. “Karaniya Metta SuttaGood Will.” Sutta Nipata I.8. Vipassana Fellowship. Access to Insight, 2011. Web. 30 November 2011. <http://www.vipassana.com/canon/khuddaka/suttanipata/snp1-8.php>.

Easwaran, Eknath. The Bhagavad Gita. 2nd ed. Tomales, CA: The Blue Mountain Center of Meditation, 1985. Print.

Ganguli, Kisari Mohan. “A Translation of Mahabharata of Vyasa.” Mahabharata Online. N.p., n.d. Web. 30 November 2011. <http://www.mahabharataonline.com/translation/mahabharata_02066.php>.

Hixon, Lex. “Its Value Beyond Assessment By the Mind.” Poetry Chaikhana. Ivan M. Granger, 2002-2008. Web. 30 November 2011. <http://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/R/Ramprasad/Itsvaluebeyo.htm>.

Shiva, Shahram. “Rumi Odes and Quattrains.” RumiNet. Jain Publishing, n.d. Web. 1 December 2011. <http://www.rumi.net/rumi_poems_main.htm>.

“The Nine Principles of Bhakti Yoga” The Secrets of Yoga. TheSecretsofYoga.com, n.d. Web. 30 November 2011. <http://www.thesecretsofyoga.com/Bhakti/Bhakti-nineprinciples.html>.

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Jay Schryer is the God of Magic. It says so on his Facebook profile, so it must be true. When he's not busy granting wishes and altering reality, he writes. He writes a lot, but mainly fantasy, science fiction, and horror stories. His poetry has been published on four different continents, so there's that, and he also writes personalized stories for kids and kids-at-heart. As you can see from this article, he also writes spirituality articles to satisfy his deep love for the Divine in all its forms. He reads even more than he writes, which shouldn't be humanly possible, but somehow he manages to do it. When he's not reading, writing, or sleeping (which, honestly, is his favorite hobby), he is pursuing his PhD in Mythological Studies with an Emphasis in Depth Psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute. He dares you to try saying that three times real fast. He's still trying to figure out what he wants to be when he grows up, but he hopes it will involve getting paid to sleep. Failing that, getting paid to write would be pretty cool, too. In the meantime, you can check out his work at http://jayschryer.com.

"I Sing Love"

This painting and poem were both created by Mary MacGowan for her blog about women and life and being happy.

Mary says, "The woman in this painting embodies the feminine. She sings, she gives herself flowers, she writes about love and poetry, and in that way she opens up to ever-increasing feminine Love."

If you'd like to visit her blog: http://57andthensome.wordpress.com



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Mary MacGowan was born in Michigan, moved out east where she raised three children, now she's back in Michigan, singing and painting about love and lakes. She studied music and composition at Interlochen Arts Academy and NYU. She’s a widely published poet, with poems in over forty literary journals. She has a master's degree in Art Therapy and Creativity Development and sits by a lake every summer day to watch the ducks swim by.
Her blog is: http://57andthensome.wordpress.com

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Do Not Ask for Permission

 by Kaveri Patel







Take a sledgehammer to the

statue they have erected of you

fashioned by their own fancies

of how you should look,

who you should be.

Do not ask for permission.

 

Smash it into a thousand shoulds

you sweep into the dustpan.

Then stand naked in front of

your own mirror and dress in

your softest words of wisdom

whispering from within.

 

After attending a recent Sacred Feminine retreat at Spirit Rock Meditation Center in northern California, I found myself in touch with lots of anger.  I knew it had something to do with the excess baggage of guilt I carried in my heart and all the shoulds that polluted my mind.

No wonder I was walking around tired and anxious most of the time!  I was looking at my reflection all stretched and distorted in all the Fun House mirrors of others’ eyes.  I was constantly asking myself the questions, “Am I OK?  Do I need to change anything?”

Does this sound familiar to you?  For years women have conformed to the expectations of family and society at large.  Like water we have unquestioningly shaped ourselves to fit the container of others’ needs.   In the process we have stifled our own needs, cooking our own meals separately on the backburner and eating last at the family table.

I spent some time reflecting on some of the myths I believed about women.  For years I took oral contraceptives believing my moodiness and heavy menses were wild and evil in need of suppression.  When I stopped the pill, I had deeper insights and more creative energy to write and explore my psyche than I ever deemed possible.  I’d listen to the men in my family criticize the women for talking in circles and taking a roundabout way to ‘get to the point’.  In contrast they praised logic and linear, concise speech.  Trying desperately to eliminate all emotion and extra words as if I would be imprisoned for unnecessary speech, I would choose my words carefully.

I asked myself what my life would look like if I dressed more often in my softest words of wisdom whispering from within.  I would honor my own pace of seeing fewer patients and not feel guilty about producing less money than other colleagues at work.  I would continue my meditation, yoga, exercise, and writing practice despite my family’s perception that I demanded more personal time than them.  I would try to see my daughter’s headstrong ways as the flowering of her Sacred Feminine essence.  I would practice compassionate presence with other women and perhaps even facilitate a women’s writing circle.

As women we have intuitive access to our Sacred Feminine spirit.  When we dance to another’s tune, we ignore the music of our heart’s deepest longing.  During the month of February I wrote down five things that reflected my inherent goodness, my True Nature each evening.  I found I had a natural capacity for kindness, compassion, spaciousness, and love that were independent of external validation, material possessions, physical health or appearance.

I highly recommend this or another practice that helps you reconnect with your Sacred Feminine self deeply and often.  When you can see your true colors, you awaken to your soul’s sunrise.  Imagine the light we could spread to heal the world!

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Photo Credit Just2Shutter

Love Your Life

by Ingrid Goff-Maidoff




Photo image by Andy Newson


The lines in this poem say, “Love your Life.”  They ask us to love our life as if it were our beloved; to love our life as a lover would love—not as an end-point receiver of all good things, but as an intimate partner, a loving participant.  The poem asks us to approach our life with curiosity, pleasure, appreciation, forgiveness, compassion, playfulness, awe—to love as a lover in the deepest sense of the word.

Love Your Life

And a voice will come from the stillness
to give these words: Love your life.
You will know from its deep urging
to let go the well-worn list
of all you thought you first needed.
Begin here, freely,
from this muddy place.
It doesn’t matter if you are broken,
empty-handed, shabby.
Go now, into the day:
the open fields, markets,
the long trail to the sea.
Find all the ways
a lover loves the Beloved:
each hidden bloom, unspoken wound,
vagary of heart.
Become a brave and willing traveler
in a wild, forgotten terrain ~
a realm of intimate tender relating,
infinite mystery, un-tethered joy.
Now, moving in this world, you know
that love is the greatest fortune.
Only, you will not amass it:
you are it.

~Ingrid Goff-Maidoff


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