Aging from the Inside Out

Jennifer Niedzielski




For over twenty years, my grandmother was 64-years-old. (Yes, you read that correctly.) I vividly recall the day I begin to question how this could be true. We were all gathering around the dining room table and small round cake with a single candle to sing happy birthday when I asked her how old she was.

 “64,” she said proudly.

I paused. I’ve heard this before, I thought to myself.

“Grandma, you’ve been 64 forrrreeeevvvveeeer!,” I said as exaggerated as any 8-year-old would.

She simply smiled.

For all intents and purposes, she could have been whatever age she wanted to be. This was a woman, who in her mid-80’s, attended two Jazzercise classes per week and drove a full-size Dodge truck. Growing up with a grandma that was so active was normal for me. I never questioned how, at age 80, she was able to shop till she dropped, meet her girlfriends every Thursday at the hair salon, and live entirely on her own. In my eyes, my grandmother never aged. It wasn’t until after witnessing her 10-year battle with ovarian cancer that I finally understood the secret to her agelessness -- her attitude.

Remaining Ageless While Aging

My grandmother was a profound teacher of how to remain ageless as she aged. Her attitude kept her mind strong, which in turned allowed her body to be strong as well. I believe her positive attitude is why she was able to battle ovarian cancer for over a decade and still be able to move to the grove of Usher’s “Yeah!” at Jazzercise! Even in the very last days of her life, she remained unexplainably positive as she looked forward to my brother’s upcoming wedding and the birth of my first child.

My grandma’s resiliency to life’s ups and downs as well as her ability to not let her aging physical form stop her has taught me that my attitude comes from a place that is untouchable by time and life circumstances. I’ve realized that my attitude is an extension and a representation of my divine core-- my sacred Self. It’s incredibly empowering to realize that I have a solid and unchangeable touch point nestled within my aging outer self. My sacred Self remains constant among all the physical and environmental changes my body is destined to endure in this human experience. For there is so much about this physical life that I cannot control; I cannot stop time. I cannot stop my hair from changing color, my body from changing form, or my children growing up and leaving home. But I can control my attitude in response to these things. My positive attitude keeps me ageless because it comes from the center of my divine, ageless being. It helps me to focus my attention on all the love, compassion, and joy that fills my heart and surrounds me at every stage in my life. And I’ve noticed that when I feel this good and happy about life, the physical and environmental changes that happen to my outer self lose their power to create suffering in my mind.

Conscious Agelessness

My grandmother really is ageless in every sense of the word. Even after she transcended her physical form six years ago, her ageless energy, love, and positivity remain in my heart. It inspires me to be proud, positive, and purposeful with my life. A positive attitude is ageless because it’s love energy pouring forth from a divine font that is impervious to the hands of time. As each day passes, I am conscious about aging gracefully from the inside out. Conscious aging is simply that-- focusing more of my attention on the inside, on my inner-Self that is forever beautiful and divine than on the physical changes of my outer self. I am so fortunate to have witnessed the power of a positive attitude in my upbringing. Aging agelessly is a tradition that is passed down from generation to generation. My own children have such a wonderful example set by their grandmother, as well. For their grandmother not only attends Jazzercise several times a week, she’s been teaching the class for the last 25+ years. All that Jazzercising keeps her in shape for the triathlons she completes every summer. A strong mind really does make a strong body.

Because of the example my grandmother has set, and the one my mother embodies in her everyday life, my purpose is to age (or remain ageless) from the inside out. I know if I do, I will still be rockin’ yoga poses at 84 and telling my swarm of grandchildren for twenty years that I am not a day over 64.

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Jennifer Niedzielski is a teacher, writer, mother of three young daughters, and the co-founder of Mindful Moms Network™. After teaching in the traditional classroom setting for over 12 years, she is transcending classroom walls to inspire and teach women how to reclaim their calm and take exquisite care of their mind, body, and inner-selves amidst the chaos of mothering. Through Mindful Moms, it is her intention to create a nurturing and supportive community that encourages moms to mother in the moment, celebrate themselves, and live life on purpose.

Visit us at Mindful Moms Network.com: http://mindfulmomsnetwork.com/index.html  and our Facebook page:                  http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1275432069#!/MindfulMoms

Intersecting Lines

Laura Hegfield


life is lived in intersecting lines

 jagged curved broken fine

a story map unfurled

read backwards

with wisdom

 we soften

into our

skin


May the light of wisdom shine through each Divine line earned. May we all be kinder looking back than perhaps we had been on the road that led us here, to this very moment.

Laura is a lover of life with an artist’s soul, living on the edge of the woods in New Hampshire, USA. No longer able to work outside her home as a teacher due to Multiple Sclerosis, she stays engaged with the world, sharing her poetry, prose, essays, photography and a meditation tele-circle with podcasts on her blog, Shine the Divine: Creativity IS a Spiritual Practice. She also offers private Spiritual Direction, Creativity Coaching and Lev b'Lev SoulCollage® through her website, www.shinethedivine.com. Several of Laura's poem's will be included in a soon to be released anthology titled Beyond the Dark Room. Her work focuses on the strength and beauty found in fragility, recognizing that the words “broken” and “whole” are not in conflict. Laura emphasizes gratitude for ordinary sacred moments continuously revealed through the eyes of her heart.

Pearls of Grandmother's Wisdom


Kelly Bird




The man who has lived the most is not he who has counted the most years but he who has most felt life 
~  Jean Rousseau






I’m at a funny age. In my early thirties, I can hardly describe myself as ‘aging,’ yet lately I’ve begun to feel as if I’m in some kind of No Man’s Land, too old for the carefree clubbing scene of my twenties, not mature or knowledgeable enough for the cultured dinner party conversations my older friends like to attend. I feel harassed and stressed a lot of the time and the days seem to be flying past faster than I can count them. I read somewhere that the thirties are the prime of a woman’s life, which cheered me up to no end until my seven-year-old informed me I need ‘old lady cream’  because "You’re getting cracks round your eyes, Mummy." Needless to say my recent contemplations on aging have focused more on the price of Botox than the possibility of greater wisdom and spiritual maturity. So I went to talk to my grandmother. She’s 82.

My nan has this string of pearls that I’ve never seen her without. She insists they’re real and were bought for her by a wealthy suitor before she met my grandfather. My dad swears blind he remembers her buying them from a pawn shop when he was a boy and that they’re most definitely fake. Whatever the truth, they are always there around her neck and when asked a difficult question she will rub the beads between her fingers while she ponders the answer.

When I confessed to her my ambivalence—and perhaps fear—of aging I expected her to burst out laughing. Instead she stared out of the window for a long time, rubbing her pearls, until I wondered if I’d offended her. Finally she looked at me.

“Do you know, when I was your age I was raising six children, working two jobs and looking after a sick husband. I felt as old as the hills. Now people try and tell me I’m old. Hell, my bones tell me I’m old. But I feel younger than ever. Maybe it’s because I don’t worry about the future anymore.”


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(Image: Elegant Lady with Pearl Necklace by Vera Rockline)

To read more January articles, click the orange arrow below that says, "Previous."

Kelly Bird: I'm a 31 year old English teacher, practicing Buddhist and aspiring writer. I'm divorced single parent of two adorable children who run me ragged, and also landlady to two white mice, three ginger cats, a german shepherd and a rescued bird with one wing. I live in Amber Valley in the Derbyshire Dales, England, where the beautiful landscape constantly inspires me.

Silent Night

Beth Dargis








Christmas as an adult is exhausting and overwhelming. Shopping, cooking, writing cards, shopping, baking, entertaining, shopping.

But, one night in December was different from the whirl of the other nights for my family when the kids were younger. We would hold our “silent night.” Early in the season we marked the date and made sure everyone was home that evening.

Silent Night began after dinner. We turned on the tree lights and lit candles around our living room. All the rest of the lights in the house were turned off. No music, TV, and other noise were allowed. No one talked. We cuddled on the couch together under a blanket and watched the lights dance. Our minds settled. We became relaxed and peaceful. The children’s eyes glittered from the candlelight. Contented smiles warmed their faces like adoring angels.

Then we each sat in the living room reading an inspirational book. We read by the glow of the candles as in times past. I always read the Christmas story in Luke. Something new is revealed each time. The kids enjoyed Christmas stories like a “Little House Christmas” or “Angels and Donkeys.” Afterwards we prayed silently thanking God for this season.

Once reading time was over, we softly started singing, “Silent Night.” The singing was barely above a whisper. Our music faded away at the end of the chorus and we were quiet again. We listened to the silence for a few more moments.

Without a word, we blew out the candles, until no light remained but our tree lights. I could hear our breathing. The darkness seemed to bring with it even more silence.

Then the silent night was over. We gave each other hugs and turned on the lights. We continued our night—doing homework, chores and Christmas planning. But, we were all a little more quiet, a lot more peaceful and still glowed from the light of the candles.


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Beth is living the simpler life in West Michigan. She helps the overwhelmed create saner, simpler lives. She delivers...

Untamed possibility. Breathe easier simplicity. Hope.
On the wings of understanding and encouragement.
Step by step breaking down from “no way! “ to “why not?”

She loves giving hope to people that come to her thinking it can’t be done. She was not born organized and had to learn the skills. Things like overcoming perfectionism and procrastination. And knowing what is for dinner before 5pm. You can get more tips at her blog and also get the free Declutter Calendar that breaks down decluttering into small, simple steps: http://www.mysimplerlife.com/blog

Strength, Grief and Gratitude


Beth Dargis


I was on retreat in late 2009. The word strength kept coming to me. In a way that made me feel I needed to be strong for something bad that was going to happen. Though I didn’t know what the something bad was, I took the word seriously. I used the Strength as my theme for 2010 where I strengthened in many different ways: exercised more, tried out various ways of dealing with emotions, prayed daily and turned my sometimes gratitude practice into a morning and evening practice.

Every morning I would type out in my journal program what I was thankful for and what I was looking forward to this day. Nature, things I was inspired by, family and friends topped my list often. In the evening I would journal about the day. Authentic words, bad and good, to get all that emotion out so I could sleep at night. Then I typed out lessons learned, successes, people I met, things I loved in that day. Gratitude guided my way to peaceful sleep.

Early 2011, the police came to my door. There had been a homicide. My 18 year old son was the victim. I was numb through most of the funeral and for weeks afterward. But, then my journal called to me again. I knew I did not want to get stuck in sadness and anger. And I also didn’t want to squash my grief.

In the mornings I added writing about my grief,  listening to music that moved me or art journaling if I felt like grieving. At the end I would come back to my gratitude practice. Since I had been doing it over a year regularly, I was able to use my practice when I needed it most. I was in the habit of seeing the good. I could write about a friend doing my dishes, the great blue heron that started showing up in the nearby wetlands we walk, cherry pie someone brought over, or a talk with a friend. I could write about good memories and the kindness of strangers.

During the murder trial, I could write about being happy: that our phone number was unlisted, that my sister took care of the details when family came to town, that my husband was there to hold my hand. It was still not an easy time, but gratitude gave me strength to sit in the court room. It gave me strength to go down into the depths of sadness and grief, knowing I could bring myself out. And it connects me to my son who was smiles and light.

I still write out my gratitudes every morning and sometimes journal my gratitudes before bed. I am seeing more and more light. Tragedy changes you, but it doesn’t have to snuff out the light in your life.


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(Photo Credit: Mara Friedman, "Teach Me to Fly")

Beth is living the simpler life in West Michigan. She helps the overwhelmed create saner, simpler lives. She delivers...

Untamed possibility. Breathe easier simplicity. Hope.
On the wings of understanding and encouragement.
Step by step breaking down from “no way! “ to “why not?”

She loves giving hope to people that come to her thinking it can’t be done. She was not born organized and had to learn the skills. Things like overcoming perfectionism and procrastination. And knowing what is for dinner before 5pm. You can get more tips at her blog and also get the free Declutter Calendar that breaks down decluttering into small, simple steps: http://www.mysimplerlife.com/blog

Elizabeth P. Glixman is a poet, writer and artist.  She is the author of the poetry chapbooks  A White Girl Lynching, 2008 and Cowboy Writes a Letter & Other Love Poems, 2010, both published by Pudding House Publications, OH; The Wonder of It All, 2011  published  by Propaganda Press, CA and  I Am the Flame, 2012  published by Finishing  Line Press.
 
Check out her blog with links to her work online and in print.
http://elizabeth-inthemoment.blogspot.com/

it seems my work is recognizing SPIRIT

dwelling among weeds and leaves

on roadsides, fields and bogs

hidden in plain sight on thin

threads intricately woven

in spider’s silk and light

squatting down low

nearer still to still

-ness  look then

listen for the

breathing

SPIRIT’s

whisper

hineni

here

I AM


©2012, Laura Hegfield

Laura is a lover of life with an artist’s soul, living on the edge of the woods in New Hampshire, USA. No longer able to work outside her home as a teacher due to Multiple Sclerosis, she stays engaged with the world, sharing her poetry, prose, essays, photography and a meditation tele-circle with podcasts on her blog, Shine the Divine: Creativity IS a Spiritual Practice. She also offers private Spiritual Direction, Creativity Coaching and Lev b'Lev SoulCollage® through her website, www.shinethedivine.com. Several of Laura's poem's will be included in a soon to be released anthology titled Beyond the Dark Room. Her work focuses on the strength and beauty found in fragility, recognizing that the words “broken” and “whole” are not in conflict. Laura emphasizes gratitude for ordinary sacred moments continuously revealed through the eyes of her heart.

The Body Is In the Soul

Katy Taylor


I am attracted to this phrase from John O’Donohue’s Anam Cara: “The body is in the soul” (p. 53). I turned to collage to discover its meaning.

The body, my physical home, is not just a container or a vessel. She is in the soul. She lives in and as part of the soul. As such, she is not alone, not fending for herself, but held in the shelter and embrace of the soul.

The soul is alive and unbound, impressionable, full of vitality and fluidity, always responding to the moment. And yet, I often experience my body as bound—contained within the confines of my skin, held in and separate. What if my body, living in my soul, as part of my soul, were not bound up in this separate physical package? What if I could remember that these skin boundaries are actually porous and permeable, allowing energy to move in and out of me, to meet and mingle with others?

My body gives my soul a way to connect with others. She is affected by life and she is intimate with all of life. My soul knows physical life through my body—tastes it, smells it, sees it, hears it, touches it, feels it...mindful experiencing of these senses, being sensuous, is to be in the presence of my soul, and is to be embraced in Presence.

Blues and oranges are the colors that my husband and I (in that order) love and are attracted to. For many years, I thought orange was too bright, garish, overdone. As I have learned to appreciate it over the past several years, I feel that I am also embracing my own vitality and life force energy. It warms me, feels radiant with life, invites me to joy, passion, and sensuality.

Images echo how nature, like the soul, holds and embraces and tends to us. She is our home, out of which we arise and flourish, and back to which we return. These images reveal the life, the movement, the fluidity, the beauty, and also the solidity and presence of the body in the soul. Held in the embrace of the soul, my body is safe, grounded, able to drop her boundaries and dip into the water of life.

(Quote from John O’Donohue’s Anam Cara, p.53
Collage artwork by Katie Taylor)

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Katy: What I really love is to be involved in the art and practice of life—in co-creating and allowing/inviting beautiful spaces, gardens, and parts of myself and others to emerge. I am drawn to beauty, order, and balance in all things, and I find that this dance is a lifelong journey full of many deep learnings. I am an Enneagram teacher, a singer (original and traditional, celticky, and medieval music), an Interfaith Minister and spiritual counselor, a Certified Laughter Yoga Leader and life-practitioner, and a student of the Diamond Approach Work. I am blessed to share my life with my husband Dave Hall, and love to be involved with life, music, spirituality, and art in order to keep my creative, expressive, intuitive, passionate juices flowing.

The Warm Hug of Nature

by Rosemary Graham

Sitting at my computer, I have a little wren visit me on the window ledge outside with a small cluster of leaves. Yes, he is nest building, preparing for the days and months to come. A small yet pertinent reminder to me right in front of my eyes which cannot be ignored. I love such synchronicities.

Opening the window now I hear birds calling across the green in the sunshine welcoming the afternoon and happy that the cherry tree standing here is budding with fresh new leaf. I think of all the new opportunities which wait beyond us waiting for our notice. A stillness hangs in the air and the softness of the day with the pink and white blossoms of an English village spring caress my mind overworked from too much time at the computer today. I have to step outside to fall into the embrace which welcomes and feel the ground supporting me.

Yesterday I wandered through the elegant array of bluebells in the wood, watched rabbits dart and bird flit beneath branches as sunlight filtered through after a shower feeling the cool breeze on my cheek.

How is it that we can ignore the messages, overlook the beauty that surrounds us? It was during a particularly stressful and traumatic time that I felt impelled to immerse myself in the warm hug of nature, to become enraptured by her enticing colours, textures and smells to release myself. I found trees to hug and felt the response sending shivers of delight along my veins.

No matter where you live there is some small piece of nature to enjoy. A window box with splendid colour, a vase of flowers beaming at you and filling your soul with joy when you decide to look and truly appreciate.

I love to wander down to the river and watch the ducks playing, diving for food and truly enjoying life. A true blessing to observe and it lifts the vibrations, the mood and makes one feel so good. Another place I love to go is to walk by the sea wandering along the shore looking for interesting pebbles, shells or seaweed and I find myself in the moment and all cares vanish. Taking my shoes off I then paddle in the cool water and am completely uplifted as the breeze strokes my face and the waves wash around my ankles. Nothing matters except the now. What a luxury and so healing. It was nature which had a hand in creating wellness when I was very ill some years ago. I give thanks for nature and her wonderful ways. Enjoy your time in nature and notice how you feel so much better.

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Rosemary has been writing for many years, was the Creator of Binka, the children’s television series and has had many poems in anthologies. She has read at poetry events in her home country of UK, where she studied amongst other things beyond English at college, Creative Writing, Writing for Children, Children’s Fiction, Picture Book, Short Story Writing and has written a column in a local newspaper as well as theatre crits and articles. Currently she writes on line with women’s groups and takes writing workshops as part of her Creative Empowerment series to help people to open and to create from the heart.

In addition she has created A Book For Now and Another Book For Now which have different spiritual sayings in them and include some of her own artwork. A  few of her other Self Help books are Fraught With Thought, The Magic of Life, Conscious Wellbeing and Look, Live, Survive and a Book Of Children Now.

Rosemary is Creator, Healer and Mentor and helps people to transition to transformation. www.creative-empowerment.co.uk, www.creativerosemary.com,

www.thelifeawakener.wordpress.com She is also part of A New Life Now.  www.anewlifenow.weebly.com

Rosemary loves nature, lives in a beautiful environment and is passionate about the sea. Photography and Art are part of her toolbox and she is aware of the ‘soul touch’ of any who will come into contact with her work. She strongly believes in the healing power of nature and loves to walk in the countryside and in the woods surrounding her home not far from London.

Chrysalis

by Kaveri Patel








Mother Nature never apologizes for her feelings.

At times she is wrathful, red scalding lava spewing from her mouth as she splits the ground with rage.  Sometimes she is joyful, her immense green lap holding the smiles of lovers, children, and daisies.  At other times she is silent, dressed in white robes of contemplation, or sensual and seductive with pink blossoms strung into her wild, leafy hair.

Why then do we as women apologize for our feelings?  We allow male partners, even other women to place invisible signs in front of our homes and work places that read Beware of Woman when we are PMSing, pregnant, undergoing menopause, or in one of our many ‘moods’.  One of our greatest gifts is our ability to embody the wide spectrum of human emotions and wear the colors with flair.

Perhaps this is only possible when we allow the emotions to be present with kindness, understanding, and forgiveness, and without shame or judgment.  It took me six years to greet the messy feelings born with my daughter as angels instead of demons.  With anger, fear, sadness, and shame as my constant companions during the postpartum period, I felt like an ugly caterpillar begging for the chrysalis stage so I could quickly transform into a beautiful butterfly.  I couldn’t see that the road to heaven is sometimes paved with perceived pebble stones from hell.

Today, I still feel anger, fear, sadness, and shame.  Sometimes the flashbacks from the postpartum period and my childhood are so strong, that I believe I am the ugly caterpillar destined to always be abandoned.


fear

wraps itself around me

in layers of warm escape

no room to move, to respond

to the wind's howling anger

or the earth's dampened spirit

under the weight of cloudy skies

and colorless rain



this coat constricts breathing

separates me

from all other beings

frozen in their own thoughts

encased by their own egos



the same wind asks,

"why wait till spring

to become a butterfly?"



Then I remember Mother Nature never apologizes for her feelings.  Why then, should I?

© 2005, Kaveri Patel


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Kaveri has been on a quest to find answers, not through religious texts, any particular person or popular dogma,but through her own experiences. She lives with her wonderful family in northern California where she practices medicine, meditation, parenting, yoga, writing, and patience. Kaveri's column here focuses on "Living Poetry." Her first book of poetry, An Invitation, is available on Amazon. She can be reached at: aninvitationpoetry@gmail.com